I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
