Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I have already put on my inside pants.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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