I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
You were trust falling into bushes
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
