How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
