I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
