This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
