with your own penis?
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
