I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
