Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
