Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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