...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
