it hurts more in the daytime
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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