Someone shit on the floor
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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