That's intense
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
