Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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