Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The best revenge is premature balding
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize