Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
