also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
