i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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