I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I forget how to act sober
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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