Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
