He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
