I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
