Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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