so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
