Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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