And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
