All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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