Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize