She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
