sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
