Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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