HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
