My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
