the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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