apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
