But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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