there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
