Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
