u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
