ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Help. Why am I so naked?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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