she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
