Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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