Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
