I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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