you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
