they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
please come you make the beer taste better
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
