You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
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