Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
