In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize