We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
