Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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