I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It's shark week go big or go home
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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