we have pet lesbian snakes
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
