He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
