dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
