her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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