Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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