I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
