I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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