WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
