he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize