He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
