how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
