I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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