Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
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