we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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